God I love publicity. I could eat it, drink it, snort it and shag it. Publicity drives me in the morning, during the day and in the evening. I even dream about publicity when I'm asleep and sometimes when I nod off during boring client presentations at Weber Shandwick. And of all the types of publicity - the best is self-publicity!
However, even I draw the line when it comes to the very un-funny people behind the spoof internet weblog. Judging from the turgid, rambling style and content of the website, I reckon it's the lot behind this other website. These are a bunch of subversives who think that half of Hackney should be used as open spaces for lazy unemployed people to lie around in on sunny days and for kids on ASBOs to terrorise senior citizens in at night.
Judge for yourself what kind of people these are from their website, which describes hard-working Hackney councillors like Linda and myself as "social misfits, pragmatic nest-featherers, dogmatic lickspittles, political adventurers, opinionated gits and well-meaning fools."
 Old-fashioned Hackney park | These people wanted Hackney to slide back into hung council chaos in the 4 May elections to stop us implementing plans for paving over "parks". They want to live in some nostalgic bygone age when councillors debated amongst themselves at meetings and "parks" were full of grass and trees.
Look dummies - are you stupid, or what? The work is "park". That should ring a bell or two, even in your pathetic little pea-brains. These "parks" should be areas for people to park! That's why our Labour Council will start paving over Hackney Marshes soon to turn it into the world's largest car park in time for the Olympic Games. |
We need to promote everything that's best about Hackney and its friends across the pond and that's why I've invited Northrop Grumman to install a recruitment centre with an exhibition of tanks and helicopters adjacent to the new car park entrance.
This will give some of Hackney's unemployed people and ASBO kids a fantastic opportunity to change their lives and become useful members of society. |  New-style Hackney park |
In the meantime, I must make sure that I keep up with the latest trends in publicity. I hear this morning that Becks has been stealing the show again, this time with a display of vomiting during the Ecuador match. Linda - where's Augustus? Can you just get him to throw up a bit while I adjust the camera....
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